Well, if you hadn't noticed, I like to play around with egg timers. I've always been into egg related gadgets, but lately egg timers have really grabbed my attention, mainly because I like to play with the latest spring and gear technology. Something about the fact that you can wind a spring and have it move a series of gears, while using far less power than a Ford F150 pickup truck, is interesting to me. It's fun to keep up with technology and realize we are getting closer to springs and gears powering other time-related devices in our homes, time related devices on our wrists and time related devices in our automobiles.

For now egg timers are still a useful thing to have around eggs, near boiling pots of water, at your family restaurant, etc. I would be surprised if people didn't have at least 13 egg timers around the home somewhere, in case their power goes out and they have to boil eggs on burning heaps of furniture without the convenience of a digital clock timer. Take these recent events with hurricanes. Millions of people were left without electric range tops and are stuck with soggy undercooked eggs from Ike. And what kind of timing devices are they stuck with? Power efficient Timex wristwatches that are water resistant up to 500 feet, that require elderly people to push difficult, tiny buttons. Without current spring and gear technology these watches will surely stop accurate egg cooking in a matter of years.

So I thought I would recommend some basic egg timers that use cutting edge springs and gears, which are very efficient and provide timed runs, better eggs, etc...

For those who want an egg-shaped egg timer, I recommend the 'Boiled Egg Timer'. This timer will run off any wrist crank, and will run at full power for whatever time you crank it to, before stopping with a loud ding. I have gotten over 54 minutes of egg cooking time in a single twist of my wrist. Now this timer isn't super loud, the ding is only about 70 decibels and has a slight aluminum resonance. This is designed as a close proximity timer that will give you enough ding if you are only 20 feet away.

It's available in one color here:

Boiled Egg Timer

It runs $10 shipped (shipping is WAY more than the egg timer). It's a tough little sucker too, I smashed it into the floor 2 times before it exploded in a wonderful display of flying cogs and razor sharp spiral springs.

For those of you who want something more exciting, with a lot more minutes, check out the Retro Look 60min Kitchen Egg Timer, which is listed on a different site. I keep one of these in my bedroom and our Forum Mod Luis has been using one to time the response time of the US/Mexican border patrol. It's a lot of fun! At $10.99 it's not for everyone, but it's a fun little egg timer and it will impress people when you crank it all the way to 60 minutes. You can use rechargeable wrist cranks in it, just read the specs here:

Retro Look 60min Kitchen Egg Timer

There is a special technique of turning the dial after a ding that can convert this 60 minute egg timer into a TWO HOUR TIMER, but it'll void the warranty if you turn it with a hammer drill. If someone figures out how to supercharge this bad boy to 3 hours, PM me :)

There are all kinds of other cool egg timers on that site too, but I wanted to point out those two because I couldn't be assed to google for any other egg timers for a half-assed parody post. Besides, they are both great and will make sure you have the awesomest, most fun egg cooking experience ever!

This isn't intended to be a sale's pitch, but of you do buy an egg timer, I expect a fucking commission for passing my helpful suggestions based on 5 minutes of research. After hearing about how many people have bought egg timers at wal-mart and target, I wish I had made this post sooner... it could have saved lives....